Edison didn’t give up….and don’t you, either!

“Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” Thomas A. Edison

This is one of my favorite quotes. We all see it repeated, in hindsight, over and over. Not today!! Not for you! Don’t give up!

If you need help through separation and divorce, please visit our website. We offer education and support throughout the process.

We are also life coaches…and yes, sometimes divorce coaches. We have a course starting in January 2013 — Hope and a 5 Year Plan. If you feel something is missing in your life, and would like to explore the tremendous opportunities ahead of you in a group setting, please email us at info@everchangingriver.com for details about our five-week series. You can change your life…if you don’t give up!

Focus on Money – Sat, Nov 17th, 9-10:30 AM, Your Guide to Achieving Financial Goals Ever Changing River, LLC, Leesburg, VA

Visit our website for more information on all of our programs.

Gain knowledge and support.  Be proactive and protect your future.

Save time and money by attending multiple Focus Groups.  Speak with the professionals.

Typically each month Ever Changing River, LLC presents three Focus Groups – one each concentrating on the emotional, financial and legal aspects of separation and divorce.  You do not need to go through this process alone.  And if it is overwhelming for you right now, consider asking a friend to attend with you.  They can attend at no cost.   Simply have them register as “guest.”

When:    Saturday, Nov 17, Focus on Money

                Your Guide to Achieving Financial Goals

                Module:  Financial Aspects of Separation and Divorce

                9:00 to 10:30 AM

Where:  Offices of Linda Black, ChFC, CRPC

202 Church Street

Leesburg, VA   20175

Cost: $15/pre-registered; $20/door (and free for Focus Group members of Ever Changing River, LLC*).  Scholarships available.

Registration Link (on Eventbrite)

Linda J. Black, ChFC, CRPC, in this module will be your guide as you learn to set financial goals, which is fundamental to your financial planning process whether you are a new professional, a mid-life or retiring professional, or if you are considering separation or divorce. Setting your financial goals puts you in charge of your money and your life.
This process does not need to be complicated, tedious or long, but it is a great gauging tool to ensure you are on the right track.  In this seminar you will learn how to determine feasibility, prioritize multiple goals, and discuss methods to accomplish your goals within reasonable time frames.

Linda will also address other financial questions you may have as time permits.
Linda J. Black is a Financial Advisor with LifeMark Securities Corp.  She has worked in the financial services industry for over 12 years and has earned her Chartered Financial Consultant (ChFC) and Chartered Retirement Planning Counselor (CRPC) designations.  Her practice is focused on financial planning and retirement income solutions for women.  Linda helps her clients make financial decisions based on where they want to go next.  She fully subscribes to a transformational approach to financial planning as opposed to a transactional one.  Linda is licensed in Virginia and Maryland.

* Focus Groups Membership Package:  $60.00 for six months, which lets you attend attend all “Focus” groups at no additional charge (a $210 savings) within your membership period.  Attend as many times as you wish during your membership period to gain support and knowledge.  We will generally offer three Focus groups each month, one each focusing on the legal, money or “me” aspects of separation and divorce.  


Disclaimer Focus Groups, River Chat, River BaNC and all other Ever Changing River, LLC programs are intended for informational purposes only.  They do not constitute legal, financial, emotional, real estate or mortgage advice or counseling.  You should seek the advice of qualified legal, financial, psychological, real estate, mortgage and any other necessary professionals regarding your own individual situation outside of any Ever Changing River, LLC program.


What others are saying:

“I learned so much.  I feel better about my situation, knowing that I am not alone.”

I will absolutely recommend this program.”


“What a great workshop format for individuals who are trying to educate themselves on the various aspects of separating and/or divorce.  The environment was awesome, and a really great selection of presenters.”

Focus on LAW, a Separation and Divorce Workshop, Law and Real Estate, Wed., Oct 24, 6:30-8PM, Ashburn, VA

FOCUS ON LAW: Wednesday, OCTOBER 24, 6:30-8 PM
How do I get a divorce? Legal aspects to consider.
Long & Foster
43490 Yukon Drive, Room 205
Ashburn, VA 20147
Cost: $15 (or free for members*)

Link to register:  Focus on LAW                 Link to register:  All Focus Groups

Do you have questions about the legal aspects of divorce, including how to get a divorce, the legal process, distribution of property, custody and support guidelines? If so, join us. Ryan Schmalzle, Esq., family law attorney, will lead this session. Pam Jones of Long and Foster will also give an overview of the real estate market, which is constantly changing.

Focus on Legal: Ryan M. Schmalzle, Esquire, with Whitbeck & Cisneros, P.C., is an experienced family law attorney who regularly practices in Northern Virginia. His firm follows the philosophy that while it is always preferable to resolve family law matters outside the courtroom, attorneys must always be prepared to aggressively litigate family matters in court if a client’s particular needs call for such services.

Mr. Schmalzle will give an overview of the legal aspects of divorce, including the separation and divorce process, equitable property distribution, and custody and support guidelines.

Real estate is a part of the Focus on Legal session. Here are the details:

Real Estate: Pamela Jones, ABR, CRB, GRI, Pamela Jones, Inc., Long and Foster Realtors, is a career REALTOR® who began working with buyers and sellers in1983. Her dedication to her clients makes her a top Loudoun County agent. Pam has excellent business sense, detailed knowledge of the local market, and outstanding negotiating skills. Pam will give an update of the local real estate market, which differs vastly from the “national” picture we so often hear about.

* Focus Groups Membership Package: $60.00 for six months, which lets you attend attend all “Focus” groups at no additional charge (a $210 savings) within your membership period. Attend as many times as you wish during your membership period to gain support and knowledge. We will generally offer three Focus groups each month, one each focusing on the legal, money or “me” aspects of separation and divorce.

Link to Purchase Membership Package (link expires Oct 31, 2012)

Or, simply click the membership category when you register online. Email info@EverChangingRiver.com with questions.

Separation and Divorce Support Group, Oct 23, Ashburn, VA, 6-7:30 PM

FOCUS ON ME – Tuesday, OCTOBER 23, 6-7:30 PM
Facilitated Separation & Divorce Support Group, Open Topic
Long & Foster
43490 Yukon Drive, Room 205
Ashburn, VA 20147
Cost: $15 if pre-registered; $25 at the door  (or free for members*)

Link to Register for Focus on ME         Link to all Focus Group Registrations

Facilitated by Nina Flowers, LPC, this support group is open topic format. You do not need to go through a tough time alone. Join us for a facilitated support group…bring your challenges, doubts and concerns, and let’s tackle them together.

Nina K. Flowers, LPC, MEd., of Counseling Solutions, Inc., provides psychotherapy services for adults, adolescents and children through individual, family and couples counseling. She has a particular expertise in counseling those who are coping with their own or a family member’s abuse, mood or anxiety disorders, relationship or self-esteem concerns, ADD/ADHD and other disorders. Her primary theoretical orientations are Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy and Play Therapy.

Nina will facilitate this open topic general support group session.

* Focus Groups Membership Package: $60.00 for six months, which lets you attend attend all “Focus” groups at no additional charge (a $210 savings) within your membership period. Attend as many times as you wish during your membership period to gain support and knowledge. We will generally offer three Focus groups each month, one each focusing on the legal, money or “me” aspects of separation and divorce.

Link to Purchase Membership Package (link expires Oct 31, 2012)

Or, simply click the membership category when you register online. Email info@EverChangingRiver.com with questions.

Questions about Life and Health Insurance when Divorce Occurs

If separation or divorce might be in your future, you need to educate yourself about life and health insurance coverage.  It’s probably not news to you that many divorcing families are concerned about health insurance coverage after divorce, but did you also know that life insurance can sometimes be used to help secure child support and alimony/spousal support payments??

Jeff Landers recently published “Three of the Most Frequently Asked Questions About Health Insurance, Life Insurance and Social Security After Divorce” at Forbes.com.  Reading his article can start you on your educational journey surrounding health and life insurance.  This article also talks about Social Security benefits, which we have covered here before in River Currents.   Read Jeff’s complete article.

River Chat, June 30, Reston, VA, 10 AM to Noon – Divorce Support Group

River Chat, an informal separation and divorce group that meets over coffee to talk about challenges, share resources, give support, will meet in Reston, VA on Saturday, June 30th, at La Madeleine on Fountain Drive, 10 AM to Noon.  If possible, we request you email info@EverChangingRiver.com to let us know you will be attending.  We understand sometimes email is not possible.  In that case, just stop by.  We are here to help.

Our support groups are designed for individuals going through separation or divorce in both Northern Virginia and Montgomery County, Maryland.

The growing trend of Senior Divorces

A recent Morningstar.com article is yet another in a lengthening list of stories being published about a growing trend….more and more Americans divorcing in their senior years.  Dubbed the Grey Divorce or the Silver Divorce, the trend is the same — later-in-life divorces around retirement age.   However, the financial picture is often not as rosy as it at first appears.

The article is written by Helen Modly and Tommie Monez.  Here is an excerpt:

“Many couples have held their marriage together for the benefit of their children, and once they are out of the house, the couples are ready to call it quits. Others realize that their vision of retirement is drastically different–she wants to stay in the community to spend time with the children and grandchildren, while he wants to move to Florida and spend every day on the golf course.”

“The initiator of the divorce, who is just as likely to be the wife as the husband, may anticipate a feeling of freedom and independence from being on his or her own. Women especially may create a new self-identity where they can finally focus on their own needs without having to constantly compromise with another person. This change in attitude, along with the possible addition of a new partner/spouse, can totally change the dynamics in a family, and can come with a very high financial cost.”  Read the complete article here.

Thanks to Pamela Sams, CRPC, MBA, for bringing this article to our attention.   Ever Changing River, LLC, offers monthly workshops and coffee chats to educate individuals about the divorce process.  We also offer divorce coaching.  Please visit our website for complete service offerings.

July 7, How Do I Get a Divorce in Virginia Workshop, Ashburn, VA

Our next separation and divorce workshop, which covers the legal, financial, emotional and real estate aspects of separation and divorce, will be July 7th, 2012, 8:30 AM to 1:15 PM, at Long and Foster in Ashburn, VA. We answer the question: How do I get a divorce in Virginia?

Read more.
Register here.

Success in Divorce is all about Education and Support – June 2, 2012 Ashburn VA Workshop

Successful individuals, when faced with the unknown, are fearful like everyone else, but they are not controlled or limited by their fear. They work through it…often with education to demystify the unknown.

If you are facing separation and divorce, attend our workshop this Saturday, June 2, at Long & Foster in Ashburn.   Learn about the legal, financial, emotional and real estate implications of separation and divorce.  Read more.   http://www.everchangingriver.com/Ashburn_VA_Divorce_Workshop.html

The Emotions of Divorce

Our thanks to Alison R. Guinasso, of All Is One Coaching, for this blog entry.  Alison is one of the many individuals listed on the Your Professionals portion of Ever Changing River, LLC’s website  who can help you through some aspect of separation and divorce.    You can read more about Alison here.

The Emotions of Divorce
By Alison R. Guinasso

Negative emotions are not feelings we like or even want to admit to feeling. And, yet, it is common during separation and divorce to have negative thoughts and worries. Some examples during this difficult time are:
• Your role in the failed marriage
• Economic consequences of divorce
• Finding a job after being a parent at home with children
• Your new role as a single parent
• Change in family relationships, both with your own and your spouse
• Having to sell your home
• Living a single lifestyle at an older age
• Loss of relationships with married friends
• Taking on new responsibilities with which you have no experience
• Relief that the relationship is over
• Fear
• Feeling unlovable
• Loneliness
There are many other examples, especially if there was abuse, infidelity or indifference in the marriage. Negative thoughts during divorce and separation can create a sense of isolation and lead to behaviors such as drinking, over-eating, depression, blaming, anger and even violence. It disrupts the vision of who we are in the world. We ask ourselves, “Who am I now?” If you are having any of these feelings, you are not crazy, you are not flawed, and you are not alone. Everyone goes through some version of these experiences. Separation and divorce create enormous change in our life, so it’s natural that our feelings and our sense of self will also be in flux.

Take heart; there is hope. This is an opportunity to practice deliberate self-care. Reaching out and connecting with supportive and empathetic people is key. So, how can we navigate this experience with compassion and empathy for ourselves? Brene Brown’s groundbreaking work on shame offers us four elements towards mitigating the weight of our negative emotions: 1. Recognize and understand your emotions; 2. Practice critical awareness of your feelings: see the big picture, know you are not the only one, and share your knowledge with others; 3. Reach out to others; 4. Speak about your concerns/troubles/worries. Just speaking about things helps normalize them. Practicing these elements develops your resilience to negative thoughts and behaviors and allows you to move forward with your new life.

Ever Changing River offers you several opportunities to practice these elements. River Chat is an informal divorce support group which allows you to share your experience and hear those of others. River BaNC is a workshop at which you can learn about aspects of divorce including the emotions that come with it. They also have an array of professionals who are available to help you on your journey.

However you decide to navigate this part of your life journey, know that you are not alone in your feelings and experiences. Reaching out to others and telling your story is the most courageous thing you can do for yourself. You get to choose how and who you want to be in your life. Negativity is not your only option. Knowing that you have empowering choices and practicing them with intention, compassion and empathy towards yourself is possible.

“Slowly, a new world will open for you.
The eyes of your heart, refined
By this desert time, will be free
To see and celebrate the new life
For which you sacrificed everything.”
– John O’Donohue