Kids are Not Confidants – Helping Children Cope with Divorce

The following post was submitted by Kathy Teeple, M.A.  Overburdening your children with every detail about your divorce process is not helping them.  Read “Kids are Not Confidants” to learn more about helping children cope with divorce.

Kids Are Not Confidants

By Kathy L. Teeple, M.A.

There’s an old phrase “misery loves company” and it’s true … when you’re miserable you want to share it with others.  I know when I’m feeling down the thing I crave the most is someone with whom I can whine and complain … I want someone to take my side, pat my hand and agree that things are awful.   And when my whining is justified it makes things better.

When you separate you are given the biggest ticket out there to unlimited whining, and it’s justified.  You can gather your friends and they will all agree that life is not fair, you deserve better, and, yes, your spouse is the biggest jerk in the world.  Friends are great when going through a separation and a divorce.  They lift your spirits, they give you encouragement, and they listen without judgment.  But your friends have their own lives and they are not always available at a moment’s notice.  Plus, as your separation drags on you simply don’t want to constantly call your friends and burden them with your misery.  So you turn to the next best thing … your children.  Oh, this is a bad idea on so many levels, but it is a common occurrence.

Kids are an easy target for complaints during separation and divorce.  They’re easily accessible and they’re often a captive audience.  Sometimes complaining to them happens quite by accident.  You are overwhelmed by the circumstances and you lash out.  Perhaps you’ve just spoken to your estranged spouse and need somewhere to unload your anger or frustration.  It’s so easy to turn to your child and say “Your mom/dad is such a jerk.  S/He’s refusing …”

Sometimes a parent will use the misguided idea of “truth” to justify his/her confidences to a child.  I’ve worked with parents who tell me that they have never lied to their child and won’t begin now.  While that’s a noble idea, it isn’t a necessarily a great idea in separation.  It is too easy to confide too much in a child and overwhelm them.  Additionally, the “truth” you are telling is based on your perception of the situation.  Your spouse has another perception entirely.  If both of you are confiding your perceptions of the “truth” the children can easily become confused.

While some parents confide in their children on an occasional/accidental basis, others do it in a calculated manner that is designed to sway the children to their “side.”  This is a dangerous practice.  Children view both parents as a source of security.  If one parent is constantly berating or degrading the other parent that undermines the child’s sense of security.  In the short term a child may side with one parent over the other, but over time the child may begin to resent the parent’s berating of the other parent.

Helping Children Cope With Divorce

Information can be a good thing, but children may feel overburdened with too much information about your separation and divorce.  Children naturally worry when their parents separate. If you are using your child as your sounding board you are adding to their worry.  Children need to know the basics about separation and divorce; they need to know they are loved and that while things may be different, they will be okay.  Children don’t need to know every detail of your separation.  They don’t need to know your every concern, and they certainly don’t need to know your fears for the future.

It is natural to want to share your pain and fears with others, but choose carefully.  Children don’t need to know the specifics of your separation; they don’t need to know “where the bodies are hidden.”  They need to know that they a loved by both parents.

Ever Changing River, LLC educates individuals about the divorce process through online videos.  Currently offering limited-time introductory pricing at a 73% savings.  Read more at Why Join River BaNCTM.  

DISCLAIMER:  The information provided on Ever Changing River, LLC website, or at any Ever Changing River, LLC program, is not legal, financial, medical, therapeutic, counseling, mediation, coaching, real estate or mortgage advice.  No attorney/client, doctor/patient, or other relationship is formed through this website or through Ever Changing River, LLC programs.  Ever Changing River, LLC is not a referral service.  Any advertisement on this website, or at any Ever Changing River, LLC program, or in any Ever Changing River, LLC publication, does not in any way constitute a referral or endorsement by Ever Changing River, LLC. 

 

 

Jan 17, Focus on Mediation Aspects of Separation and Divorce, Ashburn, VA

Visit our website for more information on all of our programs.

Gain knowledge and support.  Be proactive and protect your future.

Save time and money by attending multiple Focus Groups.  Speak with the professionals.

Typically each month Ever Changing River, LLC presents three Focus Groups – one each concentrating on the emotional, financial and legal aspects of separation and divorce.  You do not need to go through this process alone.  And if it is overwhelming for you right now, consider asking a friend to attend with you.  Let us know ahead of time, and your friend can attend with you at no cost.

 

When:    Thursday, Jan 17, Focus on Mediation

                  Mediation Aspects of Separation and Divorce in Virginia

                  Plus a very quick update on the real estate market

                 6:30 to 8:00 PM

Where:  Ashburn Long and Foster Realtors Training Room

43490 Yukon Drive, Suite # 205

Ashburn, VA   20147

Cost:     $15/pre-registered; $20/door (or free for members*)

Link to Register for Focus on Mediation, Jan 17

FAMILY MEDIATION ASPECTS:

Daniel R. Burk, CDFA, is President of Resolution Point, LLC, a company that provides mediation, arbitration, resolution consultation and group facilitation services.  He is also a Family Mediator at Northern Virginia Mediation Service.  Mr. Burk serves the Loudoun, Fairfax, Alexandria and Arlington areas.  Danny Burk is an attorney licensed by the Commonwealth of Virginia since 1981 and the District of Columbia since 1984.  He is a Virginia Supreme Court certified mediator. Danny is also a CDFA, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst.  Mr. Burk will talk about family mediation — what the process is, how it works, what is involved.

 

REAL ESTATE ASPECTS:

Pamela Jones, ABR, CRB, GRI, of Pamela Jones, Inc., Long and Foster Realtors, is a career REALTOR® who began working with buyers and sellers in 1983.  Pam will answer any quick questions on the local real estate market, which differs vastly from the “national” picture we so often hear about.


* Focus Groups Membership Package:  $60.00 for six months, which lets you attend attend all “Focus” groups at no additional charge (a $210 savings) within your membership period.  Attend as many times as you wish during your membership period to gain support and knowledge.  We will generally offer three Focus groups each month, one each focusing on the legal, money or “me” aspects of separation and divorce.  

 

Disclaimer Focus Groups, River Chat, River BaNC and all other Ever Changing River, LLC programs are intended for informational purposes only.  They do not constitute legal, financial, emotional, real estate or mortgage advice or counseling.  You should seek the advice of qualified legal, financial, psychological, real estate, mortgage and any other necessary professionals regarding your own individual situation outside of any Ever Changing River, LLC program.

 

What others are saying:

“I learned so much.  I feel better about my situation, knowing that I am not alone.”

I will absolutely recommend this program.”

“Empowering!”

“What a great workshop format for individuals who are trying to educate themselves on the various aspects of separating and/or divorce.  The environment was awesome, and a really great selection of presenters.”

June 2, 2012, How do I get a Divorce in Virginia Workshop, covering Legal, Financial and Emotional Aspects

Visit our website for more information on all of our programs in Virginia and Maryland.  Register here.

Be proactive and protect your future.  Knowledge equals power.

Save time and money by attending…speak with our professionals in person.

Our River BaNC (TM) Separation and Divorce Workshop can help.  You do not need to go through this process alone.  And if it is overwhelming for you right now, consider asking a friend to attend with you.  Let us know ahead of time, and your friend can attend with you at no cost. 

On June 2nd, you will hear from knowledgeable and compassionate professionals from the legal, financial, and counseling/therapist industries.  These professionals will share information with you to help you understand the process of divorce and what your next steps might be. With this information, you can begin to formulate your personal plan. 


When:    June 2, Separation & Divorce 101 Workshop 

                      “River BaNC” – Basic Navigational Course

Registration at 8:15 AM

Program runs from 8:30 AM to 1:15 PM

Where:  Ashburn Long and Foster Realtors Training Room

43490 Yukon Drive, Suite # 205

Ashburn, VA   20147

Cost:     $30/pre-registered; $40/door; $15/returning attendees


June 2, 2012


Legal Aspects: Jennifer D. Cisneros, Esquire, a partner with Whitbeck & Cisneros, P.C., is an experienced family law attorney who regularly practices in Northern Virginia.  Her firm follows the philosophy that while it is always preferable to resolve family law matters outside the courtroom, attorneys must always be prepared to aggressively litigate family matters in court if a client’s particular needs call for such services.  Ms. Cisneros will give an overview of the legal aspects of divorce, including the separation and divorce process, equitable property distribution, and custody and support guidelines.

Financial Aspects:  Pamela J. Sams, CRPC,is a Financial Advisor with Jackson Sams Financial Services in Northern Virginia.  For 10 years, she has been helping women and their families improve their personal and financial wealth through good financial planning.  Her education and training enables her to help clients successfully navigate through the myriad of personal and financial decisions they face during their lives.  She assists them in attaining a higher level of financial security through education, understanding, and scenario planning.  Pamela will talk about creating budgets for two households, valuing and dividing assets, the scenario approach to decisions, and retirement issues.  

Emotional AspectsRona Hitlin-Mason, LPC,also holds Masters degrees in Counseling and Development and Accounting, and a Post-Master’s Certificate in Marriage and Family Therapy.  She strongly believes that you have the strength and skills to weather this transition in  your life, and she finds it an honor to accompany people on their journey to self-acceptance and relief of symptoms.  Rona will give you an emotional roadmap, talking about the emotional stages of divorce and how best to manage yourself during this journey.  Her talk is entitled:  Right Now It’s Normal to feel “Crazy”!!

Real Estate Aspects: Pamela Jones, ABR, CRB, GRI,Pamela Jones, Inc., Long and Foster Realtors, is a career REALTOR® who began working with buyers and sellers in1983.  Her dedication to her clients made her the #1 agent in Loudoun County in 2006.  Pam has excellent business sense, detailed knowledge of the local market, and outstanding negotiating skills.  Pam will give an update of the local real estate market, which differs vastly from the “national” picture we so often hear about.

Life Coaching Aspects:   Ever Changing River, LLC,will lead you through some exercises to help you explore your core values and beliefs, and then create your “next steps” action plan.  This action plan will be different for each person…from “let me continue to think about all this” to “here are my top 3 items to complete by next Friday.”  It is important to find the approach that is best for you, not someone else.

DisclaimerRiver BaNC and River Chat programs are intended for informational purposes only.  They do not constitute legal, financial, emotional, real estate or mortgage advice or counseling.  You should seek the advice of qualified legal, financial, psychological, real estate, mortgage and any other necessary professionals regarding your own individual situation outside of any Ever Changing River, LLC program.

What River BaNC Attendees Are Saying:

“What a great workshop format for individuals who are trying to educate themselves on the various aspects of separating and/or divorce.  The environment was awesome, and a really great selection of presenters.”

“I learned so much from all the speakers.  I feel better about my situation, knowing that I am not alone.”

I will absolutely recommend this program.”

“Empowering!”

Apr 14, 2012, Separation and Divorce Workshop, Educational, Focusing on Mediation, Ashburn, VA

Visit our website for more information on all of our programs in Virginia and Maryland.

Be proactive and protect your future. Knowledge equals power.  Save time and money by attending…speak with our professionals in person.

Our River BaNC (TM) Separation and Divorce Workshop can help. You do not need to go through this process alone. And if it is overwhelming for you right now, consider asking a friend to attend with you. Let us know ahead of time, and your friend can attend with you at no cost.

On April 14th, you will hear from knowledgeable and compassionate professionals from the mediation, financial, and counseling/therapist industries. For the “how to” portion, this month we are concentrating on mediation. These professionals will share information with you to help you understand the process of divorce and what your next steps might be. With this information, you can begin to formulate your personal plan.

When: April 14, Separation & Divorce 101 Workshop, Ashburn, VA, Loudoun County

“River BaNC” – Basic Navigational Course

Registration at 8:15 AM

Program runs from 8:30 AM to 1:15 PM

Where: Ashburn Long and Foster Realtors Training Room

43490 Yukon Drive, Suite # 205

Ashburn, VA 20147

Cost: $30/pre-registered; $40/door; $15/returning attendees

Preregistration link.

April 14, 2012

Family Mediation Aspects: Daniel R. Burk, President, Resolution Point, LLC, and Family Mediator at Northern Virginia Mediation Service, serves Loudoun, Fairfax, Alexandria and Arlington. Danny Burk is an attorney licensed by the Commonwealth of Virginia since 1981 and the District of Columbia since 1984. He is also a Virginia Supreme Court certified mediator. Mr. Burke will talk about family mediation, what the process is, what is involved, and how it works.

Financial Aspects: Linda Black, ChFC, CRPC, has worked in the financial services industry for over 12 years. She has earned her Chartered Financial Consultant (ChFC) and Chartered Retirement Planning Counselor (CRPC) designations. Her practice is focused on financial planning and retirement income solutions for women. Linda helps her clients make financial decisions based on where they want to go next. She fully subscribes to a transformational approach to financial planning as opposed to a transactional one. Linda is licensed in Virginia and Maryland. Linda will talk about creating budgets for two households, valuing and dividing assets, the scenario approach to decisions, and retirement issues.

Emotional Aspects: Nina K. Flowers, LPC, MEd., of counseling Solutions, Inc., provides psychotherapy services for adults, adolescents, and children through individual, family and couples counseling. She has particular expertise in counseling those who are coping with their own or a family members’ abuse, mood or anxiety disorders, relationship or self-esteem concerns, ADD/ADHD and other disorders. Her primary theoretical orientations are Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy and Play Therapy. Nina will talk about the anxiety and stree — what they are, how to recognize them, and coping mechanisms.

Real Estate Aspects: Pamela Jones, ABR, CRB, GRI, Pamela Jones, Inc., Long and Foster Realtors, is a career REALTOR® who began working with buyers and sellers in1983. Her dedication to her clients made her the #1 agent in Loudoun County in 2006. Pam has excellent business sense, detailed knowledge of the local market, and outstanding negotiating skills. Pam will give an update of the local real estate market, which differs vastly from the “national” picture we so often hear about.

Life Coaching Aspects: Ever Changing River, LLC, will lead you through some exercises to help you explore your next steps and create a “next steps” action plan. This action plan will be different for each person…from “let me continue to think about all this” to “here are my top 3 items to complete by next Friday.” It is important to find the approach that is best for you, not someone else.

Disclaimer: River BaNC, River Chat and all Ever Changing River, LLC programs are intended for informational purposes only. They do not constitute legal, financial, emotional, real estate or mortgage advice or counseling. You should seek the advice of qualified legal, financial, psychological, real estate, mortgage and any other necessary professionals regarding your own individual situation outside of any Ever Changing River, LLC program.

What River BaNC Attendees Are Saying:

“What a great workshop format for individuals who are trying to educate themselves on the various aspects of separating and/or divorce. The environment was awesome, and a really great selection of presenters.”

“I learned so much from all the speakers. I feel better about my situation, knowing that I am not alone.”

“I will absolutely recommend this program.”

“Empowering!”

Divorce Education, March 3, Ashburn, VA – When Separation or Divorce Might be in your Future

Visit our website for complete details and to register.

Join us Saturday, March 3, 2012, in Ashburn, Virginia, when we hold our Separation and Divorce Educational Workshop. Learn from professionals in the family law, financial and therapy fields about approaches to the legal, financial and emotional aspects of divorce.

Our presenters:

Legal Aspects: Patricia E. Tichenor, Esq., owner and principal attorney of The Law Office of Patricia E. Tichenor, P.L.L.C., is an experienced domestic relations and general law attorney serving clients in Northern Virginia since October 2001. Ms. Tichenor is dedicated to helping clients move forward with their lives, fighting to protect their rights with respect to custody, visitation, child support, and spousal support. If an amicable settlement can be reached, Ms. Tichenor works to make the divorce process as simple, affordable and quick as possible. Ms. Tichenor will give an overview of the legal aspects of divorce, including the separation and divorce process, equitable property distribution, and custody and support guidelines.

Financial Aspects: Pamela J. Sams, CRPC, is a Financial Advisor with Financial Planning Services in Northern Virginia. For 10 years, she has been helping women and their families improve their personal and financial wealth through good financial planning. Her education and training enables her to help clients successfully navigate through the myriad of personal and financial decisions they face during their lives. She assists them in attaining a higher level of financial security through education, understanding, and scenario planning. Pamela will talk about creating budgets for two households, valuing and dividing assets, the scenario approach to decisions, and retirement issues.

Emotional Aspects: Rona Hitlin-Mason, LPC, also holds Masters degrees in Counseling and Development and Accounting, and a Post-Master’s Certificate in Marriage and Family Therapy. She strongly believes that you have the strength and skills to weather this transition in your life, and she finds it an honor to accompany people on their journey to self-acceptance and relief of symptoms. Rona will give you an emotional roadmap, talking about the emotional stages of divorce and how best to manage yourself during this journey. Her talk is entitled: Right Now It’s Normal to feel “Crazy”!!

Real Estate Aspects: Pamela Jones, ABR, CRB, GRI, Pamela Jones, Inc., Long and Foster Realtors, is a career REALTOR® who began working with buyers and sellers in1983. Her dedication to her clients made her the #1 agent in Loudoun County in 2006. Pam has excellent business sense, detailed knowledge of the local market, and outstanding negotiating skills. Pam will give an update of the local real estate market, which differs vastly from the “national” picture we so often hear about.

Life Coaching Aspects: Ever Changing River, LLC, will lead you through some exercises to help you explore your core values and beliefs, and then create your “next steps” action plan. This action plan will be different for each person…from “let me continue to think about all this” to “here are my top 3 items to complete by next Friday.” It is important to find the approach that is best for you, not someone else.

Disclaimer: River BaNC and River Chat programs are intended for informational purposes only. They do not constitute legal, financial, emotional, real estate or mortgage advice or counseling. You should seek the advice of qualified legal, financial, psychological, real estate, mortgage and any other necessary professionals regarding your own individual situation outside of any Ever Changing River, LLC program.

March 3, 2012, Separation and Divorce Workshop in Northern Virginia Answers the Question, How do I get a divorce in Virginia?

Visit our website for complete program information: Ever Changing River, LLC.

Protect your future based on facts, not fear.  If separation or divorce might be just around the bend in your life, we can help. Don’t go it alone. Save time and money by joining us to learn from and talk with professionals in the family law, financial, real estate and therapy industries. Knowledge equals power, and knowledge is what this workshop is all about. We will help you come up with a game plan….from “let me continue to think about all this” to “here are the three things I will do next week.”

Attending this Ashburn, Virginia workshop does not mean you will divorce. Attending means you will have a plan if divorce does happen.

                            Our Presenters for March 3, 2012

Legal Aspects:  Patricia E. Tichenor, Esq.,owner and principal attorney of The Law Office of Patricia E. Tichenor, P.L.L.C., is an experienced domestic relations and general law attorney serving clients in Northern Virginia since October 2001.  Ms. Tichenor is dedicated to helping clients move forward with their lives, fighting to protect their rights with respect to custody, visitation, child support, and spousal support.  If an amicable settlement can be reached, Ms. Tichenor works to make the divorce process as simple, affordable and quick as possible. Ms. Tichenor will give an overview of the legal aspects of divorce, including the separation and divorce process, equitable property distribution, and custody and support guidelines.   

Financial Aspects:  Pamela J. Sams, CRPC, is a Financial Advisor with Financial Planning Services in Northern Virginia.  For 10 years, she has been helping women and their families improve their personal and financial wealth through good financial planning.  Her education and training enables her to help clients successfully navigate through the myriad of personal and financial decisions they face during their lives.  She assists them in attaining a higher level of financial security through education, understanding, and scenario planning.  Pamela will talk about creating budgets for two households, valuing and dividing assets, the scenario approach to decisions, and retirement issues.


Emotional Aspects:  Rona Hitlin-Mason, LPC,
also holds Masters degrees in Counseling and Development and Accounting, and a Post-Master’s Certificate in Marriage and Family Therapy.  She strongly believes that you have the strength and skills to weather this transition in  your life, and she finds it an honor to accompany people on their journey to self-acceptance and relief of symptoms.  Rona will give you an emotional roadmap, talking about the emotional stages of divorce and how best to manage yourself during this journey.  Her talk is entitled:  Right Now It’s Normal to feel “Crazy”!!

Real Estate Aspects:  Pamela Jones, ABR, CRB, GRI, Pamela Jones, Inc., Long  and Foster Realtors, is a career REALTOR® who began working with buyers and sellers in1983.  Her dedication to her clients made her the #1 agent in Loudoun County in 2006.  Pam has excellent business sense, detailed knowledge of the local market, and outstanding negotiating skills.  Pam will give an update of the local real estate market, which differs vastly from the “national” picture we so often hear about.
picture we so often hear about. 

Life Coaching Aspects:    Ever Changing River, LLC, will lead you through some exercises to help you explore your core values and beliefs, and then create your “next steps” action plan.  This action plan will be different for each person…from “let me continue to think about all this” to “here are my top 3 items to complete by next Friday.”  It is important to find the approach that is best for you, not someone else.  

Disclaimer:  River BaNC and River Chat programs are intended for informational purposes only.  They do not constitute legal, financial, emotional, real estate or mortgage advice or counseling.  You should seek the advice of qualified legal, financial, psychological, real estate, mortgage and any other necessary professionals regarding your own individual situation outside of any Ever Changing River, LLC program.

Using the Wind – Divorce Workshop, Jan 21, Rockville, MD

Visit our website for complete separation and divorce educational workshops.  Each workshop includes presentations by a divorce attorney, a financial advisor and a therapist.

“A certain amount of opposition is a great help to a man. Kites rise against, not with, the wind.” – John Neal

If the challenge you are facing is separation or divorce and you are in the DC Metro area, attend our workshop, January 21, 2012, in Rockville, Maryland. The family law attorney who is presenting practices in DC, VA and MD. This just might be the “wind” that helps you.

Gain knowledge and support about the process.  Knowledge equals power.

Jan 7th, Separation and Divorce Education Workshop, Ashburn, Virginia. Answers the Question: How Do I Get A Divorce In Virginia?

Visit our website for complete program information: Ever Changing River, LLC.

If separation or divorce might be just around the bend in your life, we can help. Don’t go it alone. Save time and money by joining us to learn from and talk with professionals in the family law, financial, real estate and therapy industries. Knowledge equals power, and knowledge is what this workshop is all about. We will help you come up with a game plan….from “let me continue to think about all this” to “here are the three things I will do next week.”

Attending does not mean you will divorce. Attending means you will have a plan if divorce does happen.

                             Our Speakers for January 7, 2011

Legal Aspects: Jennifer D. Cisneros, Esquire, a partner with Whitbeck & Cisneros, P.C., is an experienced family law attorney who regularly practices in Northern Virginia.  Her firm follows the philosophy that while it is always preferable to resolve family law matters outside the courtroom, attorneys must always be prepared to aggressively litigate family matters in court if a client’s particular needs call for such services.  Ms. Cisneros will give an overview of the legal aspects of divorce, including the separation and divorce process, equitable property distribution, and custody and support guidelines. 

Financial Aspects:  Pamela J. Sams, CRPC, is a Financial Advisor with Financial Planning Services in Northern Virginia.  For 10 years, she has been helping women and their families improve their personal and financial wealth through good financial planning.  Her education and training enables her to help clients successfully navigate through the myriad of personal and financial decisions they face during their lives.  She assists them in attaining a higher level of financial security through education, understanding, and scenario planning.  Pamela will talk about creating budgets for two households, valuing and dividing assets, the scenario approach to decisions, and retirement issues.  


Emotional Aspects:  Suzanne Nixon, EdD, LPC, LFMT, has been in private practice since the early 1990s.  Through her company, MindBody Therapy & Healing, located in Lansdowne, VA, she offers individual counseling and psychotherapy, marriage therapy, relationship therapy and family therapy.  Dr. Nixon embraces a positive philosophy and therapeutic approach.  She believes in the innate strength and capacity of individuals to move through challenging times and create healthy, positive change.  Dr. Nixon also has a specialty in mindbody therapy, an approach that explores the dynamic connection between psychological health and physical health.  Dr. Nixon will give you a wholistic perspective of how change in the marriage and family system from separation or divorce affects overall health and well-being.  She will share knowledge and skills on how to deal, cope and care for yourself as you are facing critical decisions. While society often “normalizes” divorce, in many cases the process is anything but normal.

Real Estate Aspects:   Pamela Jones, ABR, CRB, GRI, Pamela Jones, Inc., Long  and Foster Realtors, is a career REALTOR® who began working with buyers and sellers in1983.  Her dedication to her clients made her the #1 agent in Loudoun County in 2006.  Pam has excellent business sense, detailed knowledge of the local market, and outstanding negotiating skills.  Pam will give an update of the local real estate market, which differs vastly from the “national” picture we so often hear about.  

Life Coaching Aspects:  Ever Changing River, LLC, will lead you through some exercises to help you explore your core values and beliefs, and then create your “next steps” action plan.  This action plan will be different for each person…from “let me continue to think about all this” to “here are my top 3 items to complete by next Friday.”  It is important to find the approach that is best for you, not someone else.  

Disclaimer River BaNC and River Chat programs are intended for informational purposes only.  They do not constitute legal, financial, emotional, real estate or mortgage advice or counseling.  You should seek the advice of qualified legal, financial, psychological, real estate, mortgage and any other necessary professionals regarding your own individual situation outside of any Ever Changing River, LLC program.

Divorced Spouse Benefits – Information You Need to Know

Many people facing separation or divorce do not know that they might be entitled to a portion of their spouse’s social security benefits…even after they are divorced.  Check out the FAQs surrounding this issue.  The complete information is at ssa.gov…and below is an excerpt.  Then call the Social Security Administration at 1-800-772-1213 to speak to a representative and to ask specific questions.

From the ssa.gov website:

Updated 05/13/2011 04:37 PM   |   ID# 299

How does a divorced spouse qualify for benefits?

“A person can receive benefits as a divorced spouse on a former spouse’s Social Security record if he or she:

  • Was married to the former spouse for at least 10 years;
  • Is at least age 62 years old;
  • Is unmarried; and
  • Is not entitled to a higher Social Security benefit on his or her own record.

In addition, the former spouse must be entitled to receive his or her own retirement or disability benefit. If the former spouse is eligible for a benefit, but has not yet applied for it, the divorced spouse can still receive a benefit if he or she meets the eligibility requirements above and has been divorced from the former spouse for at least two years.

Generally, we…” Read more.

Ever Changing River, LLC always cover this subject at our River BaNC™ Separation and Divorce workshops.  We invite you to attend our workshops in the Northern Virginia and Montgomery County, MD areas.  Visit our website for complete program details.

Dec 10, Montgomery County, MD – Divorce Workshop Answers the question: How do I get a divorce in Maryland, Virginia or DC? Plus tips for reducing holiday stress.

Visit our website for complete, up-to-the minute details on all our programs.
Ever Changing River’s next Rockville, MD separation and divorce workshop is Saturday, December 10th, 2011, at Universities at Shady Grove, Building 1, Room 104, 9630 Gudelsky Drive, Rockville, MD 20850. Visit our Website for complete information. Register here.

Note: Robert C. Eustice, Esquire, the family law attorney presenting on December 10th, practices family law in Maryland, Virginia and Washington DC.

River BaNC ™ is a divorce resource workshop, an informational Basic Navigational Course, through the complexities of how to get a divorce. At each workshop, you will meet local divorce experts, including a family law attorney, a financial adviser and a therapist, and learn practical information about how to become unmarried. By attending you gain empowering knowledge and support. Attending can save you time and money as you begin to consider your next steps.
Who should attend? If you or a friend are facing separation or divorce in Maryland, Virginia or Washington DC, you should attend this workshop to learn the basic legal, financial and emotional aspects of separation and divorce. We will share additional separation and divorce informational resources throughout the workshop.
Attending does not mean you will divorce. Attending means you will have solid, practical knowledge should you need it in the future.

When/Where: Saturday, December 10, 2011, 8:15 AM to 1:15 PM, at Universities at Shady Grove, Building 1, Room 104, 9630 Gudelsky Drive, Rockville, MD, 20850. Pre-registration preferred. $30/pre-registered; $40/door; $15/returning. Register here.
If you would like to attend with a friend, please do. Your friend can attend with you at no charge; please email info@EverChangingRiver.com to let us know they will be attending with you. Also, scholarships are available. Email us to discuss. Additional information at www.EverChangingRiver.com.

                                            Speakers for December 10, 2011
Legal Aspects: Robert C. Eustice, Esquire, of the Law Offices of Robert C. Eustice in Bethesda, Maryland, has 22 years of private practice experience, and has had a particularly strong emphasis on family law during the past 18 years. He practices in Maryland, Virginia and Washington DC. Trained as a collaborative family law practitioner, Robert also has years of courtroom experience to see you through a contested trial. Mr. Eustice will give an overview of the legal aspects of divorce, including the separation and divorce process, disposition of property, and custody and support guidelines.

Financial Aspects: Michael C. Mattison, ChFEBC, has been a registered representative since 1996. Mike has trained more than 2,000 financial professionals across the country. A nationally recognized public speaker on financial planning, Mike maintains the designation of Chartered Federal Employee Benefits Consultant. Mike will talk about the financial aspects of divorce, including financial considerations of asset division, retirement planning, budgets, debt and insurance.

Emotional Aspects: Toni Cortellessa LCSW-C, has a private practice in downtown Rockville. She has been in private practice since 1991 in Maryland and Washington, DC. She is a former faculty member at the Washington Center for Psychoanalysis in both the Couple and Family Therapy Training Program as well as the Modern Perspectives on Psychotherapy Program and is currently teaching at Georgetown Medical School. Toni completed Collaborative Divorce training in 2007 and has a special interest in helping individuals and families in transition. Toni will be speaking about the emotional stages of divorce and some tips on surviving the holidays.

Life Coach Aspects: Ever Changing River, LLC, will help you explore your core values, and create your “next steps” action plan. This action plan will be different for each person…from “let me continue to think about this all” to “here are my top 3 items I will complete by next Friday.” It is important to find the approach that is best for you, not someone else.

Disclaimer:  River BaNC and River Chat programs are intended for informational purposes only. They do not constitute legal, financial, emotional, real estate or mortgage advice or counseling. You should seek the advice of qualified legal, financial, psychological, real estate, mortgage, and any other necessary professionals regarding your own individual situation outside of any Ever Changing River, LLC program.